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Fic: Smartest Drake

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Jul. 7th, 2008 | 08:53 pm
mood: soresore
posted by: mayachain in dry_ice

Title: Smartest Drake
Author: mayachain (mayachain)
Rating: PG
Summary: ...in which the Blackbird leaving the Drake family's front yard has eight, not seven, passengers.
Featuring: Everyone who boarded the X-Jet during X2 at one point, and then some.
mayachain's note: This has been hibernating in my desk for a while. The 19 scenes alternate universe I took seriously; this is crack.

Smartest Drake


Only a few feet left to board the jet; they run. St John first, then Rogue, Logan, Bobby. And someone. A split second before the Blackbird's gangway snaps shut, there's a furry little blur and the sound of soft feet landing.

Logan's too busy conferring with Jean to notice, but as his nostrils catch hold of a vaguely familiar scent, he furrows his eyebrows.

Watching Rogue get sucked out of the jet, Bobby screams. He screams because his girlfriend is tumbling towards ground at high speed, he just lost his family and can't lose her, as well.

He's also screaming because he's only wearing a thin sweater and there's his family's cat, spitting madly and clinging to him, all twenty claws digging insistently into his chest.


With detached curiosity, she watches the only two mutants out of the Westchester bunch ever to find out they've been copied. Wolverine scowls at her; Erik may have saved their hides but one wrong move and she'll find herself re-impaled on metal. The ice boy, however, offers her a pale-faced, guarded 'hello'.

"This is Tubby," he says by way of unasked-for explanation, indicating the purring tomcat curled around his shoulders.

Mystique sneezes.


Her feet are touching earth. Not some aluminium-covered floor, but nice, firm ground. Her bare soles know better than her stomach, she has to keep telling herself that. Maybe her knees will stop trembling if she does.

Rogue jumps slightly when her ankle is touched by a cold, wet nose. "You shouldn't do that," she whispers. Yet she can't bring herself to push the cat away, even as it rubs its soft ears against her skin. She holds her breath, waiting for something to happen, but it doesn't.

Afraid to breathe, she takes off one glove and reaches down. The little tomcat's fur is soft beneath trembling fingers. She sobs, once, feels tiny lungs breathing against her and tries very hard to keep from crying.


He strains his ears to catch everything. The girl who smiled at him with Dankbarkeit in her eyes, he promised her to come back with information.

He's hanging in a tree, in a position others might believe to be painful but he's always found oddly relaxing. The branch he's wound his tail around will hold his weight, kein Problem. The tiny claws someone keeps patting the tip with also aren't harming him.

Aber sie kitzeln.

Kurt closes his eyes, listens to Ms Munroes hushed voice and prays he won't fall down.


Softness streaks along his left leg, startling St John out of brooding. "Shoo," he says. The word, even with a half-hearted kick following it, is remarkably effectless. The wretched pet doesn't spare him a single look as it curls up against his sneaker-clad feet.

Whatever anyone might expect in his greyish green eyes' downcast gaze, what is actually there isn't it. Suddenly feeling all funny, he refrains from kicking out a second time, holding his legs very still instead. He considers calling for Drake to remove it, but doesn't. Not quite putting his hand on the yawning creature's head, he barely looks up when he hears footsteps.

"I think he likes you," Bobby says, kneeling down to stroke the little animal. Tiny teeth capture his index finger, giving it an affectionate bite.

Makes one, Pyro holds back; hell if he'll reveal to Drake what he's thinking. His face is a careful mask kept free from all expression . It's impossible to keep it up, though, when he hears the bitter snort

"My Mom always said he was the smartest Drake."


She wants to curl up somewhere and let go. Children, Charles, Scott, but she cannot afford to cry. In the unexpected pact they've just formed with Magneto, weakness is something she cannot afford to show. She also has to set an example for her students. So much responsibility, coupled with losing control over her power and that conversation with Logan, she'll get a headache, a migraine. It's probably already started, even if right now she doesn't feel any pain.

Everything is off, she doesn't even feel Ororo beside her before the other woman takes her hand.

"I was going to sleep outside," her friend says, "but some little fur ball bit me in the leg."

Enhanced through skin-to-skin contact, a well-known consciousness seeps into her mind. The other woman is anxious of what will happen tomorrow, of what is happening even now. Fear, however, is not the strongest conveyed emotion.

Storm is strong, she won't break, ever. Tonight, she can be strong enough for both of them. Curled up on her emergency mattress on the jet, Jean cries.


"You're a god among insects. Never let anyone tell you different."

The boy is watching him, bravado-filled features slightly guarded yet curious, but Magneto frowns. Somehow, the carefully crafted words he's used on Mystique, Toad and Sabretooth don't sound quite as impressive with a cat standing on his left knee, one paw on his chest for balance, second paw eagerly fishing through the air at the lighter he's almost too distracted to hold in place.


So maybe he's impressed. Just a little bit. Posing as him, Mystique looks like a walking mirror, and yes, maybe sending in someone with actual computer skills is the more sensible plan. It doesn't mean he'll trust her, though.

He watches the impostor nodding at them shortly and turning to leave. Just before s/he's past the door, fine-tuned ears twitch as they catch a sneeze. Wolverine grins. S/he'll fool Stryker all right, fight her way through and let them in. But it's nice to know she cannot come back like this and fool the children.


Should we come, too, Bobby wants to ask, but he doesn't quite dare to open his mouth. There are ways in which they might be able to help the adults, but what if someone gets hurt, something goes wrong and they end up hindering them? He tries not to show his relief when Jean tells them to stay on the jet, to stay on guard.

Four pairs of eyes, blue, brown, grey and green watch the adults leave, until their silhouettes are swallowed by the snow. Then Tubby meows softly, and Rogue asks him "you're bored, aren't you," in a voice that sounds like she's talking to an infant.

Bobby watches her twin together two strands of her hair, one black, one white, and search for something to put at the end of the string. He leans back, and tries not to think of his Mom.


"Go away, cat," St John says when he is stopped about ten feet out of the jet. The cat sits down and looks up at him, green eyed, knowing. "I mean it," Pyro warns. "Go back to the lovebirds." For good measure, he presents the lighter and flicks it. "Go. Away."

The cat stares up past the small flame, unmoving, unblinking.

St John sighs.


This time when the Blackbird crashes, it is piloted by two hysterically squabbling teenagers wrestling for the controls, and once again, twenty sharp claws are digging through Bobby's sweater. The back they're digging into belongs to St John, though, and notlikethisnotlikethisnotlikethis Bobby is glad of it.


Hours later, Scott could swear there is still a faint echo of the children's cheer as the jet lifted, leaving cascades of water behind, even after they have finished their trip to the White House.

Holding on to Jean's arm tightly as he helps her board the plane again, it takes a while for the giggles to register.

Bone tired, relieved beyond belief and just wanting this day to be over, he can't bring himself to care how he sounds when he says

"...someone want to explain why there's a cat in my seat?"


Sometimes, Madeline Drake wonders whatever became of Tubby the cat.

If she were to send a letter, it would slowly turn yellow inside a drawer of Professor Xavier's desk, the only letter ever sent to Charles Xavier to go unanswered.

She never can bring herself to write it, though, because even she knows that you can't demand they give you your pet but not your son back.



I've wanted to post this ever since I made my icon. It's also the one and only X-Men fic my brother agreed with me I should write. Today I needed a bit of fun in my life, so I brushed it up, and here you are.

Translation for the German phrases Kurt uses:
Dankbarkeit = gratitude
kein Problem = no problem (hard, isn't it?)
Aber sie kitzeln. = But they tickle.

Let me know what you think?

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Comments {14}


(no subject)

from: rainofthedead
date: Jul. 7th, 2008 07:11 pm (UTC)

That was fucking awesome as pie.
I loves it to ity-bity-Reese's pieces.
*noms on fic*

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(no subject)

from: _profiterole_
date: Jul. 7th, 2008 08:37 pm (UTC)


I love crack.

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piscilagus aquaticus

(no subject)

from: talktooloose
date: Jul. 7th, 2008 08:57 pm (UTC)

The last line killer. KILLER!


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(no subject)

from: lux_apollo
date: Jul. 7th, 2008 10:27 pm (UTC)


Also, I'm glad someone finally wrote a story inspired by that icon I've seen flashing around LJ for a while.


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(no subject)

from: chosenfire28
date: Jul. 7th, 2008 11:52 pm (UTC)

Oh WOW I love this so much, so cute and perfect and who knew Tubby the cat Drake would have made the movie end in the best way possible. Obvisouly you.

Just lovely, thank you so much for writing this :D

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(no subject)

from: briyamineko84
date: Jul. 8th, 2008 07:26 am (UTC)

omg, I so, completely loved this. Incredibly well-written and amusing and sweet, and that last line was just ouch, but the whole thing was amazing.

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(no subject)

from: openedbook
date: Jul. 8th, 2008 12:19 pm (UTC)


*huggles tubby* My brother is gonna kill me. He's allergic.

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(no subject)

from: ayumie
date: Jul. 8th, 2008 03:45 pm (UTC)

That was fun! What a difference a cat makes...

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that nerdy kid

(no subject)

from: ragingpie
date: Jul. 8th, 2008 05:04 pm (UTC)

That was awesome!

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Barra Arisa

(no subject)

from: barra_arisa
date: Jul. 9th, 2008 05:24 am (UTC)

It was absolutely adorable. I mean it, for crak it was more serious and I want a Tubby of my own.

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(no subject)

from: raitear
date: Jul. 9th, 2008 06:49 am (UTC)

I love kitties!!! okay, that's done with. This was an adorable story.

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(no subject)

from: babydracky
date: Jul. 27th, 2008 12:56 am (UTC)

OH!! I like it a lot!!!
The smartest Drake is the cuttest thing ever^^
Thanks for sharing^^

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(no subject)

from: trinipedia
date: Dec. 1st, 2008 03:20 am (UTC)

ok, the end broke me inside.
everything else? cute and funny?
the end? amazingly amazing, but incredibly sad. you rock.

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(no subject)

from: nexusofcrisis
date: Jan. 13th, 2009 02:48 pm (UTC)

See now, cats make everything better. I loved this story.

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